My hands sweaty, tears running down my face and breathing so hard I might hyperventilate. I can’t do this anymore. I tried to punish myself for being so selfish but I can’t even punish myself correctly. I hate this life. No one understands and I push everyone away by overwhelming them. There is absolutely no hope for me. I see that now. It couldn’t be any clearer. Why it took me this long to see it I don’t know. I am in hell. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take anything anymore. I have tried and tried and fought and fought. There is no strength left. No one understands me no one. I am in hell. God help me out cause I can’t keep living like this.