I am no longer faking the smiles and the optimism. It’s gone. I am too tired now to fake being happy. I feel like the blood has drained from my body and my soul is gone. There is nothing left. Nothing. I am not sharing this with my personal friends because they’d never get it. They like optimism, it’s attractive and well there is no attraction about me. This IS me. Take it or leave it but I’m feeling defeated. No one can help obviously because my soul is gone.