Other

Do you See the Real Me?

I have no idea what I’m doing anymore. I feel like I’m being stretched into many pieces. Like many others are ripping at my body and soul and just pulling it in all different directions. I am screaming but no one cares, no one listens and no one wants to understand. Pain rips through my body but yet I am used to it. I am in mental anguish but yet I am used to it. There is no existence for me without pain. I am mentally and physically torn into pieces, being dragged by those pieces and instead of dying I feel it over and over again. Inside I am screaming, outside complaining, inside crying and sometimes outwardly crying and hiding. No one understood the bipolar, no one does and yet I am thrown into this world of physical pain as well and no one gets that either. Burning, throbbing, aching, – my brain and my body. I feel crazy, repeating the same mistakes, I feel crazy because I have to hide myself from people. I feel crazy because no one understands my pain. I must cry but cry alone. I must feel things alone because if I don’t it’s a sigh and oh… again….?

I would be tired of me too. Maybe I am. I know I am tired of living like this.

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One thought on “Do you See the Real Me?

  1. No, you never cry alone. I’m here crying with you. Oh, I so know what you mean about having to live with bi-polar and then suddenly being thrust into the continual physical pain. As if the mental anguish wasn’t enough! I’m tired too. But we are strong. We keep going. I’m proud of you.

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