I have no idea what I’m doing anymore. I feel like I’m being stretched into many pieces. Like many others are ripping at my body and soul and just pulling it in all different directions. I am screaming but no one cares, no one listens and no one wants to understand. Pain rips through my body but yet I am used to it. I am in mental anguish but yet I am used to it. There is no existence for me without pain. I am mentally and physically torn into pieces, being dragged by those pieces and instead of dying I feel it over and over again. Inside I am screaming, outside complaining, inside crying and sometimes outwardly crying and hiding. No one understood the bipolar, no one does and yet I am thrown into this world of physical pain as well and no one gets that either. Burning, throbbing, aching, – my brain and my body. I feel crazy, repeating the same mistakes, I feel crazy because I have to hide myself from people. I feel crazy because no one understands my pain. I must cry but cry alone. I must feel things alone because if I don’t it’s a sigh and oh… again….?
I would be tired of me too. Maybe I am. I know I am tired of living like this.