Secrets. my entire life is lived by secrets. Secrets from those I love, secrets from those I just know. I’d like to give my secrets away and I have tried to before but some just don’t get me or so they move on. I disappear. From them, from everyone, I fade into the background as if I was never there. Lost, lonely and afraid I carry these secrets with me, in my heart and in my mind. They tear at my soul. I want so badly to have others understand. To have others GET me. I get feelings of strength but they soon fade away. I am a lonely soul because I won’t let go. So I fade into everyone’s background. Forgotten like a forgotten piece of paper. Junk. I need a friend, a real friend. One who doesn’t judge and one who understands. Does that exist? I don’t know.
For the one I adore: I want you to hold my hand and to love me. Touch my arm or my hair. Look into my eyes and say I love you. Please don’t let me fade into the background. Please don’t allow me to feel alone. Please hug me. I need you. I always needed you. You are so much appreciated. If insanity is loving you, I’ll take insanity any day.