Other

Wasted Tears


I feel dead. I feel dead inside. I feel like I am walking around and no one can see me. I am tired of crying, of wasting tears over pain, over being sick. Over no one understanding my chronic pain. I am tired. I hate myself when I look in the mirror. Most days I want to die because I am tired of my pain yet I linger on. I don’t know that anyone even understands that feeling. I just don’t know. I am feeling completely let down…by people but I’m also sorry I am always in mental or physical pain. I didn’t ask to be sick. I don’t want to be sick. I just want someone to be there and to listen to me and to care- to actually care- not pretend they care. Learn about me! Learn about my illness and maybe learn more things to say. What happened to caring? What happened to love? What happened to empathy?

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One thought on “Wasted Tears

  1. I understand and I care. I suck at showing it because I’m going through the same feelings, emotions, pain, and fears. I hide when it gets hard because I feel like “how can I be of use to anyone when I’m like this? I will only make them feel worse…” It’s all I can do to just get out of bed each morning. But I have to. A mom doesn’t have a choice. We have to keep going. Some days I feel like “what next?” like I have no idea where to turn or how I’ll find the energy. I just somehow do. You know my position on God, but I won’t preach to you. Just know that someone DOES care and Does understand even if she does suck at showing it.

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