Other

Maybe a Little Less Pain Please?

I can’t take the nightmares and flashbacks in my sleep anymore. I can’t do it. It must be the new medicine I don’t understand why else I would be dreaming these things over and over. Horrible scenes playing in my mind of my past over and over. I feel tormented in my sleep and I wake in physical pain from my AS. I am in pain no matter what now. I cannot even escape it when I sleep. I need a break somewhere. Not even when I dream can I dream peacefully. Bad dreams rip apart my mind for days. I can’t get them out of my head. It has shown me I haven’t dealt with Lizzie’s death. I don’t know that I ever will. I haven’t dealt with any of my bad past, will I ever? Will I ever get past the things that some of those people had done to me? I can’t even mention anonymously what those things were. God.. I need some peace. Give me that. Some peace of mind. Maybe a little less pain? Even if it’s just mentally, I am ok with that. Thanks.

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