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Suicide and Angels

Woke with Angels by within temptation in my head this morning. Not sure why their song was playing in my mind. Will post it below for you. I have been thinking a lot about suicide lately. I feel depressed but with more energy than usual. Not as despondent as usual. I feel a bit more mixed now and more confused. Unsure of what the future holds for me. I feel like I am headed nowhere though, like my life is going nowhere. I want to move as I hate where we live but my husband is always negative about moving and it’s destroying me. I mentally cannot take another day here in this craphole that we live in and he just doesn’t understand. He doesn’t get that it’s destroying me little by little. It’s destroying my daughter too, I can see it and I hear it in her voice. I can’t feel anything anymore but depression. Bleakness and blackness. Darkness envelopes me and my soul. I am tired of sacrificing. We deserve a better place to live and we can do it I know we can. He just needs to stop being so negative and just do it. I cannot do this on my own. I need his help. I need motivation and I need him on my side. God please let him back me up, please get him on my side. Please help us get out of here and into that other place. I need help with this. I will do anything. I cannot be here any longer, It’s tearing me apart. I don’t want to end up taking my own life to give my daughter a better one but I will if I have to.

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One thought on “Suicide and Angels

  1. suicide is not the answer , prayers can be mighty , keep praying and God will show you a better way . I understand about living in a place that depresses u, I have for 8 yrs because of my husband’s job. No job is worth the hell we have to live. But in saying that I try to stay positive and hope something good will come out of this . God Bless !!!

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