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Ruminations of Ketamine

Read an article that they are finding Ketamine lifts depression very quickly and immediately for treatment resistant depression. Where’s my Ketamine? Now I have ruminations running through my head of the word Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine, Ketamine. It just plays over and over in my head and I don’t know why…. Ruminations of a crazy lady….

I am crawling out of my skin. God help me. I am screaming in my mind. The emotions are surging through me like electricity through my veins. 10,000 volts coursing through my veins and I can’t get away. I need a way out. This is not going to work. I might as well resign myself to the idea ECT is what is going to be my solution for now. I don’t think this last trial of medication will do it. My doctor and I discussed ECT last visit and I have four weeks before the decision. I can’t calm my brain. The darkness is so deep inside if I don’t release it I’m dead in a matter of years maybe months. I have to let go. Release it. This is my answer. My only answer. Who am I kidding?
Ketamine…too bad it’s not currently a treatment.

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