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Crying….out loud

I am tired. Been Crying. I don’t like to cry. Let alone cry for a long time. My eyes hurt this morning from crying last night.

What happened to dignity and respect in life?

What happened to love?

What happened to happiness?

What happened to kisses in the dark? Holding one another when things go bad?

What happened to dreams?

What happened to forgiveness and less anger?

What happened to a goodbye meaning something? or a hello? How about how are you?

I am tired of the pain inside when I have so much pain outside too.

What happened to “you are so beautiful” indirectly and directly?

What happened to sharing fears with one another?

We have lost so much.

I can’t seem to find you, you who I knew so long ago. The one who wrote me a poem once and brought me flowers or a card once in awhile…

Now it’s just “we don’t have money for that”, even when we can spare the little bit.

My heart was slowly breaking and now it’s just broken. Maybe it’s just that I am crazy but I honestly believe I am human.

I feel sad …

often.

Tired.. Often. and I don’t think I can do much of anything anymore. I say I will always fight and continue to be a fighter but sometimes that choice is so difficult in life.

I still want to give up sometimes.

Some days…honestly… it crosses my mind almost every day.

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