There are lots of things I need in this life but I try not to dwell on them. I push them further and further to the back of my mind until they are only a memory because most times, it’s almost impossible to meet my needs let alone a want. My first and most important need I have right now I could say is reassurance.
Maybe it’s reassurance the sky is still blue, Maybe it’s reassurance the grass is still green or maybe it’s just reassurance I am still breathing and the Earth is still turning. My pain reassures me most days I am here but sometimes makes me quite oblivious to time and date especially when it lasts a very long time but I need positive reassurance. I need to know it will pass. I need to know I will be OK. I need to know I will wake the next day and if not, that my family will be OK. I need to know I can beat this AS and I can beat this bipolar. I can beat the demons in my mind, reassurance, that I can beat the gremlins destroying my insides, reassurance.
God help me. I need reassurance.