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Liberated and Alive!

Things are looking up, I am holding strong, dealing with my pain better than ever and I am busier then ever! I am hoping the busy part lessens over time because I don’t like to overdo myself. That usually backfires.

Well I must say, this year started off rocky and things keep trying to knock me down but I keep getting back up! My daughter and I had a beautiful Christmas at home, just the two of us and we played some silly drawing games and baked. I received the best news in February! We are getting into our own real, permanent place! Just for us. Quiet, calm and a stress-free living situation. I’ll always have struggles, that’s a given, however I am learning to deal better with them and just enjoy my new life. I don’t think I have ever felt as liberated as I have in the past five or six months.

My fibromyalgia and AS pain was getting better but I truly think the medication I started two months ago is why my pain got exceedingly better. I had started a medicine for my fibromyalgia. I think that diagnosis was a huge reason for a lot of my fatigue, depression and body pain. Now I do still have increased pain and swelling in my joints about a week prior to my infusions and it has increased with my upcoming one which is supposed to be soon. I still have post infusion reactions but I am continuing with the treatment because my options are limited and scarce. Unfortunately I have a 5th wisdom tooth with a crooked root that was never removed years ago and now has gotten in very bad shape. It’s most likely abscessed and I have an infection. I am on two antibiotics until I get in to pay the oral surgeon to remove it and one other broken back molar on the other side. Not to mention I had been in a very bad TMJ disorder episode, which has eased thankfully. I still remember one of the first episodes. I was with my husband at the time and I couldn’t get the pain to stop. I just paced the floor crying over and over. He helped me through it thankfully. I’ve found stress is a huge trigger for my TMJ disorder, my essential tremor as well as my migraines. You can bet it affects the fibromyalgia and AS. I am keeping at it with better skills now handling stress while having bipolar disorder too. My life can be far from easy!

As afraid as I was to walk away from what I did, and into the unknown, it has proven to me I am finally becoming happy and content with my life. That I couldn’t have made a better decision. That I am alive. Not only alive because I walked into the unknown but inside- I am ALIVE.

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