ankylosing spondylitis · arthritis · bipolar · Borderline · Depression · God · Jesus · Other · Other Blogs · Suicide

Varied Thoughts…

I once looked out the window on a sunny mild day
I thought, there is nothing out there for me

It appeared an empty void

A painting that I couldn’t wish to be in

I once looked out the window on a sunny mild day
There was no color in my eyes

A grey existence of emptiness

Loss was all around me

I couldn’t even move to leap into the world of color

I was lost

I don’t know how to join

I sit in front of the window, sun shining

I can’t feel the warmth

It’s cold inside me,  impenetrable

I once looked out the window on a sunny mild day
KAB 2016

📝   📒  📝

​I’m sitting, eyes closed

The walls and floor are alive

Open, there’s stillness 

Floating, rocking, in a nightmare closed

World gone

Fears everywhere, nothing 

Existence of pain everywhere 

Spinning around me

Open there’s no existence 

Closed it’s nightmares

What do I choose?

KAB 2016 

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